Well, cleverness in erotica is usually beside the point., and it usually doesn't have enough plot elements to make for long stories.
Unless you consider symphonic form to be loosely basedf on the exxual act, what with crescendo and climax!
Ack, when you get old enough like me you start to notice the quality of the lighting in a porno video...

"why are most people so BAD at it"

Brainy talk and dirty talk are both foreplay to me. Make me talk dirty during the act and I get easily distracted... that is why I am bad at it. I can't speak for others.

>> not adept at multi-tasking during sex.

I myself have long had difficulties “shutting down my brain” for any reason. It will not shut down when it is time to sleep, not when it is time to feel, not when it is socially inappropriate, and defiantly not
during sex.

I think that it is rooted in a certain familiarity with this dilemma if you ask me. People who understand this experience it, and those who experience it must inevitably learn to live and exist productively and (hopefully) happily . As far as sex (and I would venture to go so far as to say emotional gratification) goes some know what to do because they live it more or less and suppress it the rest of the time resulting in a sort of metasexual presence at the point of interplay between their internal and suppressed psychosexuality, and the release in it’s external and verbal indulgence.

To simplify, I think there are no keenly fortified erotic conversationalists who do not have both extremely active minds in that regard all the time.

There is more I could add…On the whole I know what your talking about…with some it’s like pulling teeth. I think that’s terrible, it’s so much fun.

I think some can......but you really gotta be in the moment and feelin
it. I have tried to fake it before, and it's just not right. When it works, it works...
and when it doesn't, stick to quoting poetry or geek books. lol

vixen

have you ever heard dirty talk in Dutch or German.....?
It really doesn't work.

Abso-frickin-lutely!!

well hung minds are the BEST at talking dirty. Big words turn me on...

I think, for me, the allure of dirty talk is the force of adding two new and complex stimuli to the process. I adore the simple vocalizations of eroticism (the gasp, the moan, the hitching exhale) but with the addition of vocabulary one achieves a more complex level of audio stimulation and adds conceptual exchange to the swapping of fluids. Sex without words leaves me trapped in my head, pounding against the edges of perception and trying to interpret the wriggling and panting and sweating of my partner for some inkling of their experience. When they speak they paint the images that are relevant for them across my internal landscape. I become aware of their intent, the shapes of their desire, the focus of their passion, and there is the opportunity to fine tune the experience with more psychological interaction. It also seems as if speaking the words reinforces the act itself and makes it somehow more real and immediate. We admit, unabashedly, to what we do. To say something aloud gives it form, definition, veracity.

The great tragedy here is that I am horrible at talking dirty. Oh, I can talk about sex of any shape, size, texture, or diagnosis but when engaged in the act something horrible happens; I lose my ability to compose sentences. This doesn't necessarily mean I cannot speak but it means, rather, that I have no time whatsoever to edit what is about to come out of my mouth. If I do speak it is nearly stream of consciousness and what I say may be news to me. I do not speak because I am afraid of what I might say. There are still a few corners of my psyche I'm not entirely comfortable sharing. Self-consciousness is a terrible foe.

I have learned to compensate somewhat by having my partner pick favourite erotic stories and I will read them aloud. It works fairly well, though the story sometimes gets cut short.

It is unfortunate that the only erotic dialogue most individuals are exposed to is of the most simplistic and vulgar variety, the one exception being the melodramatically florid and saccharine sweet fantasies of romance novels. I believe this is responsible in part for the dearth of accomplished dirty talkers. We don't learn how to engage in sexual conversation and English has a disturbing dearth of lyrical terms for sexual acts and anatomy. If one wishes to be rough and crude, if that is the titillation of the conversation, then the standard slang euphemisms of barnyard fowls and domestic felines will suffice but if one is looking for something a bit more varied and interesting then a concerted effort must be made to hunt down suitable vocabulary.

These are my thoughts on the matter for whatever they may be worth.

The simple truth why most people are so bad at talking dirty is because they are afraid of thier own sexuallity. If you are free with who you are sexually the juices just flow. I'm not what you consider a diva, but I have the boldness to say what I want.

Well hung minds know how to talk dirty with utmost effectiveness.

I want to add something to this thread which I have been considering for a great long while, and that is the following:

That the degree of verbal foreplay is not seasonal nor reserved for special occasion but constant, without break and that it varies from the subtle to the overt depending the level of license granted to the individual, by their station both strategically and socially ,and that dependant upon both the personal and situational conditions which exist.

To a degree, every effective delivery of charismatic display is the product of well disciplined spezzatura (what we call ‘Cool’), but this carries one only so farm since once this has been developed enough to provide a reasonably dignified air within which to deliver compliment under the cover of common conversation, something more is required within a playing field where many skilled charismatic compete to stand out. That thing is style, and there is no advice for it’s development, since the means of it’s creation are as important to the final product as the final product itself, it is the signature of action.

Now, the final letter in this process is the obvious. That intention should not ever be separate or alienated form the means, and this is to say that to make use of strategic rhetoric in interpersonal relations is not merely dishonest to the highest degree, it weakens ones strength of character, both in display, in reputation, and in effective delivery of action.
In distinct contrast to this, an individual who presents himself precisely as he is with the added benefit of skilled artifice in conversation, for the purpose of enhancing the ladder achieves a level of appearance that not even the simple but honest man will never find access to.

Most people can't "talk" dirty because they loose their nerve....

I think that most people who *try* to talk dirty do a pretty piss poor job of it. More often than not, dirty doesn't come across as sexy...it comes across as crass, condescending and/or pathetic. It's a rare, yet brilliant bird who can actually pull it off and make it sound hot.

A well-hung mind understands how to read a person and communicate with them both physically and verbally. Standards seem to have been set by the porn industry, and lowered by everyone who has learned how to screw from some guy muttering "yeah, bitch...take that" to his barely coherent, barely legal partner.

Ugh.

I work in an office where it is totally unacceptable to talk dirty. However, I have worked in factories where if you don't talk dirty you are an outcast. Just my thought on the topic.

Abso-Fing-lutely !!

I can do it with the best of 'em ...

Mmmm ...

Can elevate a hot union to an even hotter place ...

i think people are bad at it for the same reason there's really offensive so-called "erotic" photography.

they miss the freaking point!

it's not about the dirty word or the body part, there's something more to it. the push me/pull you; the timing; the drama; the lighting; the tension. yes lighting does matter even if you're only taking a picture of a body part!! LOL

a well hung mind can easily take a mundane thing and make it erotically charged and passionate

Well, I do. I guess sex is one of the only ways I can turn my brain off. Love the " well hung mind ", but am always happy for an excuse to give it a rest.

" Do well hung minds talk dirty? Unsubsc... 68 replies 06/15/07"


Well, that just couldn't be allowed.