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"Disrobe me as I speak," she said.

topic posted Fri, June 15, 2007 - 12:59 PM by  Unsubscribed 		Share/Save/Bookmark
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“Disrobe me as I speak,” she said,
The white-clad pontiff by her bed.
“Or flee to cast at whim your alms
Toward children who despise your Psalms.

“Or join the virgins bent in prayer—
But no, not you; for one lone hair
Of mine to stretch along your cheek
You’d set ablaze five nuns a week!

“Admit it! Kneel. Confess to me.
Adore this temple, all five-foot-three.
It marvels more than Sphinx and sky,
Redeems the soul like light the eye.

“How long since you have heard a clock?
That constant pounding of your… heart
Is adoration pure and mine--
Drink from these breasts most holy wine.”
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  • Expa...
    Expatasapien
    offline 79

    Re: "Disrobe me as I speak," she said.

    Sun, June 17, 2007 - 10:09 PM
    A lady while dining at Crewe
    Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
    Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
    And don’t wave it about,
    Or the others will all want one too.”

    and


    There once was a man named Adair
    That was fucking his bitch on the stairs
    But the banister broke,
    So he doubled his stroke
    And finished her off in midair

    and lastly

    There was a young gigolo named Bruno
    Who said, “Screwing one thing i do know.
    While women are fine,
    And sheep are divine,
    Llamas are numero uno!”

    courtesy of
    www.dirtylimerick.com
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  • Unsu...
     

    Re: "Disrobe me as I speak," she said.

    Mon, June 18, 2007 - 11:12 AM
    Once a silly girl from Amsterdam
    said: "I flog and therefore I am"
    until she lost all controll
    and beated the crap out of her very soul
    now she gets flogged as much as she can

    Layla Hester
    June 18th, 2007
    join to post
  • Unsu...
     

    Re: "Disrobe me as I speak," she said.

    Mon, June 18, 2007 - 11:32 PM
    Notice how no one commented on your poem. We're sorry, we're too selfabsorbed and there's no room in our hearts for anybody else. Personally, I didn't even read the poem, well, I read the first 4 sentences, got incredibly bored (at the word "whim" I think my brain went straight into a coma) and then saw the cool dirty limericks pata had posted. "That's more like it!", I thought. So I began to think up some limericks myself (it's hard to wake up your brain from a severe coma, thank you very much)...the rest is history.
    I saw you posted this poem on other tribes as well, I hope you had more luck there. Actually, something really kept me from clicking your poem in these other tribes, I only clicked it here because I knew patasapien had commented on it. Now if you want your poem to be fingerlicking good, get patasapien to write a review on it. It doesn't matter if it's negative or positive, it'll gain instant awesomeness either way.

    Good luck, and good day to you.
    join to post
    • Expa...
      Expatasapien
      offline 79

      Re: "Disrobe me as I speak," she said.

      Tue, June 19, 2007 - 2:21 AM
      ........ *doesn't know what to say*


      Borkbork...

      you're a doll.

      this poem...please really...what do you want from us?
      Is it Joycean? it's not. Does it carve some new niche? no.
      does the world need one new combination of pre-existing words? negative.

      NOW having said all of that I will not admonish you against the perfection of your craft, but remember please that the first and most significant task of the writer is to invent new words that synthesize smoothly into the language, and in the absence of new words new terms and in the absence of new terms new ways of making these words work together that is ways in which these words may work together in which we have not yet seen them work together, but far preferable to any of these alone is all of them at once.


      other than that, there is one final thing you must do to insure that your poem goes over well, and that is to have Borkbork on your side, since then you will be invincible.
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      • Unsu...
         

        Re: "Disrobe me as I speak," she said.

        Tue, June 19, 2007 - 7:20 AM
        "NOW having said all of that I will not admonish you against the perfection of your craft, but remember please that the first and most significant task of the writer is to invent new words that synthesize smoothly into the language, and in the absence of new words new terms and in the absence of new terms new ways of making these words work together that is ways in which these words may work together in which we have not yet seen them work together, but far preferable to any of these alone is all of them at once."

        *applauds* Well said, well said!

        As I didn't read more than the first 4 lines, although my brain practically died at the word "whim", I'm not on your side. Actually, I'm against you and your first 4 lines including "whim". How can I say this without hurting your feelings? Oh yes: it's pure rubbish. Dung, and not even high quality dung. Therefore, you're going to be annihilated. We're on our way.

        Kthxbai.
        join to post

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